Not Thots

  When you want to scream... You know that you don't really believe that anyone cares, but you risk it anyway. You actually reach out for help..... You may get the attention of a few well-meaning people, especially if you bother their pristine world. Superficial inquiries and condolences are thrown towards you, and with sadness,  you  recognize them for what they are, but you continue to hope...... ...that somehow, someway, that someone would care enough to jump into your inner world  with an iron grip and not let go or quit until you are mostly whole again.  Extremely rare are the people who will go the distance with someone who is truly overwhelmed. If you're one of those people or want to be, remember, THEIR Victory comes only out of your inconvenience. Depression and helplessness are very real, folks. And everywhere today. And Despair, said to be the place where all Hope goes to die, is a very short journey for more people than we know. It's very real in...

       I never cease to be perplexed by me. Never! Not by something beautiful or wondrous, but rather by the fickleness of my own heart.  It shocks me sometimes how self-centered I am. Yeah, me.  The guy that always volunteers.  The guy who seems to be there for everyone. Up front and on the surface, it may very well be, but on the back side, when it is all said and done and it's just me, there is a problem..... The happiness and Joy that is supposed to be shared with them or the self-satisfaction of having been there helping them get through a tough spot or overcome a huge trial is uncomfortably short-lived. While they go dancing off refreshed or steadied, in renewed sense of freedom and life, the "what about me?" monster emerges from its camouflaged hiding place and hijacks the moment from me.  As I try to turn the ship, that are my thoughts, in the right direction, I realize the ugly waves of self-centeredness are stronger than the m...